What Ishtiyaque did with the paan leaf
Jun 25th
C Y Gopinath meets a diabolical Lucknow chef and two wickedly original kebabs he created using betel leaves and a jackfruit
I occasionally treat myself to the uniquely Indian post-prandial confection that comes wrapped in green leaves, the paan.
I respect the pungent betel leaf and its infinite variety, from the ordinary Calcutta sada to the amazingly illegal palangtod paan, said to so perversely excite an otherwise genteel couple that they could put their beds at risk. When I lived in Mumbai, I would have a paan twice or thrice a week, but now that I live in Bangkok, it is a rare treat at some restaurant and More >
Pasta la vista
May 21st
My son would like to be a capo di tutti cappi when he grows up. He believes this is a matter of getting the accent right. His first words, learned from a Hugo’s guide, are: Davanti mia casa, ce uno piccolo giardino, dove coltiviamo ogni sorta di ortaggi — patate, cippole, cavolfiori ed altri cosi. Depending on the occasion, he can deliver these menacingly, petulantly, or apologetically. Considering that the statement is merely an Italian gardener’s list of vegetables growing in his backyard, all three deliveries sound quite absurd.
I now know that being a capo di tutti cappi is actually a matter More >
How to cook a Musa Pseudostem
Aug 6th
C Y Gopinath discovers how to cook the delicious dish that killed the tender coconut tree but completely re-colonized his gut.
Take a medium-sized banana. Chop the pseudostem finely and boil till tender. Spice it and eat while costive.
There, that’s how you do it. I’ve given the recipe away. You can amaze your friends too now by making Banana Tree Khich Khach at home. They’ll laugh at you, of course, and nudge each other and whisper into their respective ears, ‘Goodness, he or she doesn’t know which part of the tree is the edible one. Next thing, he or she will More >
Read and see
Jul 12th
For decades, this classic set of three books has been the last word on authentic South Indian cooking, says C Y Gopinath
May I offer you some light tiffin? No? A cool drink then?
What about a curd bath? It’s guaranteed to cool you off.
According to the instructions in the third book of the Cook and See trilogy, the offer of a curd bath may fearlessly be made to Brahmin priests during certain auspicious days. The complete bath must include rice, buttermilk, sweet jaggery water, and a coconut chutney, among other things. Towels and soap are not mentioned.
Before you leap to the conclusion that More >
Lessons from lasoon
Nov 27th
It might keep teenage vampires away but when you use it well in the kitchen, the unassuming garlic can unite the most diverse people
SMITH AND JONES GRIND GARLIC AT NASHIK. In case you think this is one of those phrases administered to suspected drunks to check their sobriety, it is not. Smith & Jones happened to be a brand of readymade garlic paste, one of latest products of ravenous, emerging giant India. I spied it on the mixes and spices shelf of one of the new breed of US-style self-service supermarkets in Mumbai.
Picked it up at once, of course, attracted More >
Muri Blues
Nov 27th
There is a connection between young love and Calcutta’s jhalmuri
FROM THE DARKNESS OF KOLKATA’S LAKE GARDENS come the sounds of lovers holding hands.
Bet you’ve never heard the sound of lovers holding hands before, but I have. It’s not the usual slurps and slobs and chwoops and fevered whisperings, but more a steady chomp-chomp-chomp. Occasionally you might hear an intense burp.
It is the sound of two people deeply in love eating Calcutta’s jhalmuri together. No other city serves up this amazing snack based on puffed rice, or muri. The jhal refers to the fiery trail it blazes as it enters your system. More >
The sorry story of the uttappam
Oct 6th
The uttappam was feeling threatened by globalization — who am I? why does the pizza look like me? what should I do? C Y Gopinath counsels
It was a humid day, the sort that dampens all urges towards food.
I was sitting in my clinic, toying desultorily with some listless peanuts, when I sensed that someone was watching me. For a few years now — in fact, ever since parsley and iceberg lettuce began appearing in the local market — I have been running a small but successful practice counseling various culinary items who felt their identity threatened by the influx of Chinese, More >
A chip of the old Nayak
Jun 28th
In a clear case of judicio-culinary activism, C Y Gopinath is put on trial for declaring Rama Nayak’s wafers to be the best in the universe as we know it.
Yes, M’lud, I am reasonably certain that it was not an Indoor Locker.
Or Indoor Laukar, as they tell me its erroneously called in the teeming wholesale veggie markets of downtown Maharashtra. Or Indore Locker, for all I know. In fact, Your Grace, your best money won’t get you a decent Indore Locker till after Christmas is gone and you’ve rung the new year in. After that, it’s Indore Locker season all the More >
The future of Gobi Manchurian
Mar 4th
It turns out that Manchuria was unaware that its name had been appended to the phool gobi. When the news leaked out, all hell broke loose, reveals C Y Gopinath
“WE HAVE NO CHOICE,” said the Manchurian National Security Advisor. “This must be considered an act of war. By annexing Manchuria to a cauliflower, India has breached every protocol known to international politics.”
There was silence in the conference room. Though the new millennium was well under way, the temperature outside had not changed; it remained –26°C. The heating system was yet to be installed, so it was shivering cold inside as More >
The sous chef passes a fishy test
Mar 4th
‘WE’RE HAVING A SEAFOOD FESTIVAL!’ said the voice from Bombay’s SeaRock Sheraton, in the good old days before the bomb blast that closed it down. “We thought you might be interested in covering it in your amazing blog, Gopium!”
This meant that I was being invited to check out some free food at a 5-star hotel, you understand. On such matters as pre-paid gifts from corporations, or sponsored junkets to foreign countries, I have always followed a strict policy of reluctant acceptance in a Marxist frame of mind, which means that I say yes, infiltrate the system and destroy it from within.
Accordingly, More >
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